Fanmail?
by Killarthe4th
Summary: If you ever wander about how the champions react to fanmail, look no further as we go through the various reactions. This is my attempt of humor. Read and review! If you want proper story read the other story because the text is for convenience.
1. Part 1

Fanmail?

Dear Champions

Ok I understand that we haven't explained this but you have a huge fanbase, if you already know then good for you. If you don't then get another champion who has many fans to explain, on a different note we have recived too many fanmails and have given up trying to stop them from going to your actual home because even the delivery people have started developing fanbases and asking for your signitures. We in the city of legends have our own postal services and the overload of fanmail is too much… therefore you have to look through it yourselves now.

From Phreak

The following amount of speech is the many reactions of the champions (im not going to do all of them… THAT'S WAY TOO MANY)

Ahri: *giddy* Yay fanmail! :3

Akali: *rolls eyes* Great… more then multiple people getting hurt to see me in that outfit =_=

Alistar: Letters? I don't follow!

Amumu: Letters? (Hopeful) friendship?

Anivia: (after reading letter) ***uses ice wall to protect house* **

Annie: Does this mean more friends to play with?

Brand: *grabs letter* OH NO ITS ON FIRE

Cassieopeia: Yessss fanmail that will make me feel much betterrrrrr

Cho'gath: What what what?

Mundo: Mundo eat dps report! *eats letter as well*

Garen: fanmail? A new type of armor? (I don't have a sense of humor)

(Yi+Irelia moment)

Irelia: Master isn't this going to be interesting?

Yi: Oh god this is going to be hell

Irelia: Why would it be hell?

Yi: I'm going to receive a ton of mail saying "GET DUNKED" a million times, you will probably receive some saying BETTER NERF IRELIA.

Irelia: well that's not very nice!

Yi: Trolls are never nice

(End of moment)

Katarina: *shakes head* I wonder how many signatures will I have to mail now?

Kog'maw: Still Hungry! Not full! (just finished of his fridge if food and is eating the letter.)

Lux: *happy* letters :) That remind me of old times

Malzahar: Mail? Wonder if my disciples have improved yet.

Miss fortune: Great more stalkers.

Mordekaiser: Have enough already… *shovels his fanmail into an incinerater* and I cant even read brazilian. (sorry bad joke)

Morgana: Arent mundana letters enough? *does what mord did*

(Pantheon+Nidalee moment)

Pantheon: Wait aren't fans just those things that people use to keep cold during the summer?

Nidalee: No it isn't sexy its just what people think about us and people who like us.

Pantheon: wait there are others that like me besides my friends and family?

Nidalee: *rolls eyes* yes there are.

(End of moment! I don't really understand Kiara's character so I didn't write it)

Rammus: (Need I say it?) OK

Renekton: WOMEN!

Riven: *bangs head against wall* I hate this, now people will send me a message to ask for Bunny girl Riven (True story look for it :D )

Shaco: Come at me fans! I got jack in the box traps right at my mailbox

Shen: …

Shyvana: *Unhappy* No one likes me I was driven out of my village

Singed: *fling*(the letter hit Udyr) Not this again

Sona: … *has too much*

Taric: OUTRAGOUSE

Teemo: OMG PEOPLE DON'T HATE ME *happy dance*

Twisted fate: Lady luck be hatin!

Udyr: People like me?

Urgot: *what letter?* (as if urgot would get one!)

Vayne: I don't have time for nonsense

Veigar: I AM EVIL NOT CUTE EVIL!

Vladimir: Love the buffs (totally irrelevant)

Warwick: Ahh yes much more to come

Wukong: (He is awesome) YAHAHAHAHAHA

Xin Zhao: I'm well known hope I get some good ones (Lol I nicknamed him Win NAO)

Zilean: I knew this would happen (No duh Chrono keeper)

After that extremely long explanation most champions didn't give it a second thought, most just went to sleep others went and set up a incinerater.

To be continued!

Ok this is the first part of fanmail. I hope it is something that is ok to read (I hate myself) if anyone has any suggestions for what they receive plz tell me :D

I already have it planned out for Teemo, Veigar, Amumu, Shaco, brand, Rammus, Cassiopeia and Katarina so leave some suggestions for me!


	2. Part 2

Fanmail? Pt 2

(Hi! This is KT4 with another story of fanmail, Rammus has been said to be able to taunt everyone in his lore due to his humor, his letters are what I think he says.)

Dear Champions of the league

Rammus has volunteered to do the delivering because he wants to add a message to everyone as well as sending the fanmail towards you, Have a nice day!

From Phreak

Urgot: Everyone has fans beside me! That's not fair!

*Urgot opens mail box to find 2 envelopes*

Urgot: Oh MY GOD *super happy while he opens one them*

*inside one of them is his taxes for even BEING in the city*

Urgot: Awww… Nevermind I have this other one *Opens*

*inside it says* I'm gonna roll you into a ditch next match

P.S YOU ARE FOREVER ALONE!

From Rammus

*Forever * Urgot was more depressed that day than most

(I think I did quite bad on that one =_=)

Brand: Ok I got fireproof gloves from Heimerdinger… I can now open my fanmail!

*Opens door to house only to see a mountain*

Brand: … Screw this *cast's Pillar of flame*

*letters don't burn*

Brand: The F*CK *see's note* what's this?

*The note says* The fans thought you would do that so they got a summoner to enchant it so it cant be burned

Brand: Well f*ck *opens a few letters complimenting him* Well this isn't so bad…

*opens a troll letter* Annie is a lot more mature then you!

Brand: *ignores and see's Rammus's letter*

*opens letter from rammus*

Letter: I'm gonna make some smores on your face

P.S You look mad, why you always so angry?

Brand: *literally shaking with rage* ME ANGRY? WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT? Just because when I was small kids made fun of me asking "You want ice cream Brand? … Oh wait it melts when you get close! Never mind."

*Brand literally spontaneously combusts to respawn at the institute of war*

(scene cut!)

Amumu: I wonder if ill get anything today?

*Queue Loud crashing sound followed by rammus speeding away*

Amumu: *confused* Rammus? What's he doing here? *Looks outside*

*A small mountain just a little bigger then amumu is outside his home*

Amumu: *exited* WOW *walks around it* This is all for me?

*takes the first one*

Amumu: This one says I should hang in there! I'll survive the loneliness and find more friends someday! I'm so happy! *opens another one* This one says I'm cute? *confused* me? A dead thing is cute? I think im going to die from happiness!

*notices rammus's one*

Amumu: I wonder what he has to say? *open's letter*

Inside the letter two big letters are shown QQ

P.S

You still crying? Look at the back of this letter

Amumu: *flips the letter*

A picture of forever alone is there with big bold letters saying "You sad?" (Instead of you mad?)

Amumu: *snifle* WHY ME? WHY? WHY? WHY? *despair activates*

(We will leave Amumu for now he will see the rest of his Fanmail later)

Shaco: HEHEHEHEHE no mail for me! Because my jack in the box traps are all in place! No lowly deliverer can get through this! *hears a loud thump* HUHUHUHU looks like my first victim has been found!

*Shaco peers outside only to be disappointed to see a mountain of mail shadowing his house*

Shaco: *pissed* How the f*ck did all this shit get here?

*notices letter on top and picks it up*

Its from rammus

Letter: I got banshee's, force of nature, quicksilver sash and mercury treads. Ur boxes wont do shit!

P.S Your not Mark Hamill

Shaco: *tear* WTF RAMMUS IM GONNA KILL YOU

(We will leave Shaco and his plots for later for now lets see some other fanmail!)

Cassiopeia : Yesss my fan mail issss here now!

*peeks outside to see a small and neat pile with rammus's letter at the top*

Cassiopeia : Whats this?

Letter: Tasty tasty venom!

P.S look in a mirror lately? You turned me to stone last time I looked at you.

Cassiopeia: I feel like crying *tears welling up opens up a different letter*

Letter: Cassiopeia you are a powerful mage yet you are so underplayed why is that?

Cassiopeia: Its because I'm too hard according to most summoners *sadness*

Different letter: Cassiopeia I love your appearance, Your scales are so amazing! (This is obviously some creep)

Cassiopeia: *eyes glimmer in happiness* really? I think I like this summoner already!

(While Cassiopeia is having this moment I think ill swap to veigar)

Veigar: If I get any mail related to my size I'm going to kill the closest thing! (happens to be urgot being depressed)

*opens letter*

Letter: Hi Veigar I find you so Cu-

*Letter is shoved down urgots throat *

Next letter: Veigar why don't you wear heels so you look tall-

*Shoved into Urgots canon thing *

Another letter: Veigar to be honest you need to look more menac-

*you know what happens next*

Veigar: *angry as f*uck * RAHHHHH *cast's ultimate on urgot, one shoting him *

*Dark matter destroys letters even though they were reinforced with summoner magic*

*Veigar see's a force of nature around a letter and opens it*

Letter from rammus: Oh no who will save us from the Ebil?

P.S your shor-

*crumpled and killed with baleful strike*

Veigar: RAMMUS! YOU ARE DEAD NEXT MATCH I SEE YOU!

(Back to Amumu)

After looking at his positive letters amumu feels much better although he feels as though his heart has been ripped out and given to warwick he still feels optimism.

Amumu: I'll answer these with patience… Wait a minute I don't know how to write… I guess ill ask Mr Fiddlesticks if I could have some help. *gets up and walks to where fiddlesticks is *

(Amumu will ask Fiddlesticks for help with responses, but that is a story for another time)

(Back with shaco)

Shaco: *didn't even bother with looking at the letters * Ill just give this to Mordekaiser He has an incinerator that I don't.

(To be continued)


	3. Part 3

Fan Fanmail? Part 3

(Hi I'm back! What's up? Please note that I will not go through every letter or else it would end up being one character per part. Rammus is still the delivery service and today I'm writing about: Xin Zhao, Garen, Jarvan, Ahri, Akali, Riven and Pantheon and Nidalee. I hope you enjoy it!)

*Xin Zhao has just woken up and just made his morning tea, sipping it he walks towards the door to retrieve his newspaper. When he does open the door he hears Rammus rolling away.*

Xin Zhao: *shivers* I hate that sound its either when he's ganking me in the jungle or when I'm about to kill the squishies on his team when he smashes into me then taunts me… I hate that.

*He proceeds to open the door… his eyes widen when he see's the mountain of letters*

Xin Zhao: I got this many? *notices it leaning over towards him* MOTHER OF GOD.

*The Letters fall on him… His head pokes out of the stream of letters with an unamused expression on his face*

Xin Zhao: Well isn't this a bother… I might as well open some of these.

*Opens first letter*

Letter: I heard you like watching daisies?

Xin Zhao: *Blushes* I do not! (If you get this you are awesome if you don't then look at the end of the Xin Zhao part)

*He opens the next letter*

Letter: Y U SO OP!

Xin Zhao: Don't blame me! I'm just the way I am!

*Rammus letter* (This is what you have been waiting for right?)

Rammus's letter: Don't you miss being good?

Xin Zhao: But I still am aren't I! *A little pissed*

Rammus's letter: P.S What happened to the WIN NAO?

Xin Zhao: *is ticked off* NEXT TIME IM GOING AGAINST RAMMUS SCREW AD GIMME SOME AP! IM STILL WIN NAO! (Had to put this) Where is your ass? My spear is behind it!

(While Xin Crescent sweeps all his mail into oblivion I'll explain the joke on the daisy, the joke on Xin Zhao likes watching daisies is about him liking ass. In Chinese daisy is slang for ass. Now is going to be Garen the might of demacia.)

*Garen had just pulled an all nighter at the police station and is returning to his home, he was surprised to see the mountain blocking his way into his home.*

Garen: What the f*ck? * Looks for a way around the mountain* When did this sh*t get here?

Frisky: *Yelling over the mail* This morning!

Garen: How am I going to get in? *he is cranky from his overnight shift*

Frisky: (tell me if I got this wrong) I don't know… You find out I'm going to work. (She works for singed in his bar right?)

Garen: *Shocked* Wait your just going to leave me?

Frisky: I cant exactly do anything about this why don't you just judgment through it?

*Garen shrugs and tries to spin through it proving useful he span through the mountain that is larger then him having 6 letters sticking to him*

Garen: *Notices as he walks into his home* Might as well look at these, ill bring the flamethrower later (Not gonna explain :3)

*First letter is opened*

Letter: Do you have anger manag-

*Garen throws it out landing on the pile and unexpectedly (yeah right) fell all over Urgot*

Garen: *angry* Don't these people know about privacy?

*second letter*

Letter: Why do you yell Demacia when you use courage over Demacian justice?

Garen: What do you mean by that? I'm using my righteous and dauntless courage during my charge of course I'm going to yell Demacia during that time.

*third letter*

Letter: Why cant you spin through walls like Tryndamere? And why can't you be a man for 6 seconds? (undying rage)

Garen: It is obviously because I am not Tryndamere and my spin does damage every second while Tryndamere's one is a instant damage skill. I am a man by the way what nonsense are you talking about?

*Forth letter*

Letter: Do you have any friends beside Jarvan?

Garen: … Sadly no I do not (I think!)

*Fifth letter*

Letter: Did you feel an old attraction to your current girlfriend that is similar to you ex-

*Crumpled as he threw it outside the window not looking where it was going… as Urgot's head reappeared from the pile he got knocked out by the paper ball*

Garen: This is getting infuriating * Pissed as hell*

*Rammus's letter* (F*CK YEAH)

Rammus's letter: Hey look people it's a merry go round!

P.S Your spin will never get a win, and don't you get bored of sitting in the brush with camping equipment? I heard it was also to look at the asses of the more attractive female champions of the league.

Garen: *twitch* How does that armadillo thing know? I always have an oracles so they shoudn't know by wards…

(I'm probably gonna mess this part up)

Frisky: Hey I'm back because I forgot something!

Garen: Oh Sh*t *hides letter* Ok I'm in the kitchen if you need me

Frisky: * Walks into the kitchen* I'll see you later ok?

Garen: Ok *nervously looks at the letter shoved in his pocket

*As frisky leave Garen breaths a sigh of relif completely forgetting the letter he gets in his bed and falls into a deep sleep. By the time frisky came back the letter had rolled out of his pocket and across the city of legends you could hear the sound of a slap echo across the city.*

(there goes garen! Next is Jarvan!)

Servant number 1: Jarvan your highness! There is a large amount of mail outside the palace your highness!

Servant number 2: Oh my god the maids of the castle are adding letters to the pile!

Servant numero três: Holy crap the fanmail is half the size of the castle!

Servanto four: What shall we do your highness? * silence* your highness?

Jarvan: * was asleep most of the conversation jolts up* Eh-hem I belive we may as well burn most the letters! But I want you *points at servant number 1* to grab 3 of them. Is that clear?

All servants: Yes sir!

*Jarvan relaxes living his royal life Eating breakfast before receiving his letters also starting a fire in his fireplace*

Servant number 1: Your highness! I have your letters!

Jarvan: *smiles* Thank you… you are dismissed

*As servant one leaves Jarvan receives 4 letters*

Letter: How did the idea of you using Demacian standard as a root for your dragon strike come from?

Jarvan: Well I had needed to escape from a few Noxians one time having just recived my lance, I saw the Demacian a few feet away and while I was running my lance got stuck to it and I knocked up the Noxians chasing me, my body guards were laughing when they saw the damn Noxians on the floor dazed from the knock up.

*Second letter*

Letter: Why did you save Shyvana from those villagers?

Jarvan: I will tell you the tale of how I stumbled across Shyvana. *Cough's to clear throught* As a half-dragon Shyvana was always in mortal dangers from an angry mob… One day I was passing by the village *I was wearing my dragon slayer armor* and saw a riot going on, I quickly went to see the source of the ruckus. I later found out that it was a girl with a semi transformed dragon claw as a hand ( I imagine Shyvana as a girl with a dragon claw instead of the riot artwork for you information this came from a Fanart I saw) She was crying and was wearing rags. From what I could tell this girl was not treated as a human. My temper flourished as I kicked away the crowd who were throwing stones towards the young girl. Yelling in defiance "That is not how you treat a girl! A young one at that!" I turned and kneeled to face the girl. She was sobbing into her transformed hand as well as her human one. When she calmed down she looked up to her savior tears on the verge of falling. (That's all I'm going to write because this is going to be part of a serious story that I am writing at the moment.)

*Third letter*

Letter 3: Oh MAH GAWD YOUR SO HOO-

*Already in the fireplace curtsy of Jarvan*

*Rammus letter*

Rammus: Aww princess Jarvan wanna play dressup?

P.S What have you been doing with Garen in the brush? I keep hearing random grunts when I pass by rolling

Jarvan: *Red from rage and in a sickly calm voice says* Rammus next time I see you in the fields is the day I land a flag in your spine every 10 seconds! And what do you mean princess? I'm a f*cking guy with a reputation!

(While Jarvan does target practice with several rammus shaped dolls lets move on to Ahri!)

Ahri: *Sleeping and hears her doorbell ring* Urghhh coming!

*She opens her door to see a pile of neatly stacked letters. She is suddenly giddy and squeals quickly grabbing them running into her room and picks up the first letter*

Letter one: I cant believe I'm writing this but I love yo-

*already out the window*

Ahri: puh-lease I get so many confessions daily it isn't funny

*Letter 2*

Letter 2: I hardly see any more people playing Ahri nowadays why is that?

Ahri:*Sadness* I guess I'm just not what most people expect and cant play me well.

*Letter 3*

Letter 3: Why do you sound like your having an orgasm when you die?

Ahri: *Blushes* I guess I want to feel something before I die

(I think 3 or 4 letters is enough) Rammus letter: How many dozens of people have you f*cked now?

P.S Why do you have nine tails? To get some tentacle action on? (I can't believe I just wrote that =_=)

Ahri: *Blushes even more* But I never thought about it that way… I think I have some experimenting to do.

(OMG I CANT BELIVE I WROTE THAT AURGGHHHH I'M ONLY 14 RAGHHHHHH… now its time for Akali)

Kennen: AKALI!

Akali: *sighs* What is it kennen?

Kennen: Your freaking fanmail is blocking the way out of the temple! Even shen is having problems getting through

Akali: Wait my fanmail is here? I don't want to see how much I recived.

Kennen: Well too freakin bad *drags akali to the mail*

Akali: *see's mail* For the love of Ionia why me?

Kennen: Who told you to have a nurse outfit?

Akali: Who asked you *Kama's are ready to be thrown*

Kennen: *sweats* uhhhh gotta go *Lightning rushes away*

Akali:… I think ill take a look at a few

*First letter*

Letter: marry m-

*pinned to the wall by kama*

Akali: I already have Shen sorry!

*Letter 2*

Letter: I'm gonna f*ck your brains ou-

*pinned to the wall by a katana*

Shen: anyone who wants that has to answer to ME (ooc? I can't exactly portray shen's personality)

*Letter 3*

Letter: Did kennen seriously dump you because of commit-

*pinned to the wall by a shuriken*

Kennen: Is that still going around? *pissed*

Akali: *Shrugs* you know its true. Now for my last letter

*Rammus letter*

Rammus letter: We all know why there have been more inuries recently… to see your fine bod!

Akali: *sigh* Don't remind me

P.S QUIT GETTING FED FATTY ( OH NO HE DIDN'T JUST CALL A GIRL FAT)

Akali: *Suddenly pissed as f*ck walks up to Shen and asks* Shen when is my next match scheduled for Rammus being on the enemy team?

Shen: *looks up from his paper* Probably in about a week why?

Akali: Oh its nothing I just want to throw some spiky objects into his shell nothing much at all

(While Akali grabs her weapons for torturing Rammus we move on to riven!)

Riven: *Just finished her morning workout walks past her door to get to the kitchen for a drink when she see's her front porch has a 10 more letters then before* What the? *looks at the letters* This is definitely new I normally just get hate mail from Noxus.

*letter one*

Letter: Do you know you are really cute?

Riven: *splutters* Me? Cute? That just isn't possible!

*letter two*

Letter: You know your really moe right?

Riven: moe? What does that mean? (search it up)

*Letter 3*

Letter: you know you have a really sweet voice right?

Riven: *Not used to such kind words and compliments* You really think so?

*Letter 4*

Letter: How does it feel being betrayed by singed?

Riven: *Bitter* It feels like my soul is being burned by the devil himself and I have yet to find where he is! (The institute of war specially told civilians and other champions not to tell Riven where Singed is) All of my fallen comrades! I still hate him to this very day

*Letter 5*

Letter: Where do you keep the shards for your broken blade? I see the shards of your old sword appear randomly.

Riven: I have a pouch for the pieces so I can take them out when I need them.

*Rammus's letter*

Rammus letter: Yeah kill yourself fast on my thornmail!

Riven: dealt with it any ad should be used to it

P.S YOU FORGOT YOUR BUNNY SUIT!

Riven: *activates sword of the exile and fires windslash out her window effectively killing a few birds in the process* DO NOT REMIND ME OF THAT! *Slams the handle of her sword on the wall*

(While Riven is trying to calm down lets move to Pantheon and Nidalee)

(I don't think I can portray pantheon well =_= I think ill avoid writing about him in the future)

Pantheon: Pussycat! The mail is here. You wont believe how much there is.

Nidalee: How much is the- … I see what you mean

Pantheon: *Looks up and down the mountain that was still building* Wow… I think most of this is going to die by paper shredder.

Nidalee: Yes that is probably what's happening to all this mail.

(An hour or 2 later)

Pantheon: NO NO NO DON'T BREAK ON ME NOW YOU PIECE SH*T

Nidalee: Whats wrong sexy? *Looks from the doorway to Pantheon*

Pantheon: *Pissed* Our paper shredder just broke and there were only a few letters left!

Nidalee: well lets take a look at them *curious* What do our fans think of us anyway?

*Nidalee grabs the letter's +the one that broke the shredder (the one that did that was rammus's letter) *

*Letter 1*

Letter 1: I was at the restaurant when that waiter said jumbo boobs instead of shrimp, Pantheon why weren't you pissed and just amused?

Pantheon: Well it was funny watching pussycat here look unamused at the waiter! I was very amused myself!

Nidalee: I still remember that *grumble*

*Letter 2*

Letter: How did you two meet?

Pantheon: *Grins* You might not know this but Nidalee was quite the stalker before.

Nidalee: *slaps him playfully on the chest* Shut up sexy

Pantheon: *Grins stupidly* You know you love me

*Letter 3*

Letter: What are your "sizes"?

Nidalee + Pantheon: Why would we tell you that?

Letter 4: You guys have had affairs before so how did it feel when you heard the other was doing that

Pantheon: *sadness* It felt like my heart was ripped out.

Nidalee: *Depressed* I felt the same way as pantheon

*Rammus letter*

Rammus letter: Pantheon Your profession? Dead guy

P.S You need to stop leaving games or else your going to go bankrupt

Pantheon: Me dead? But aren't I still alive? Now I don't leave games that often!

Nidalee Cougar looking for cub?

P.S I took your little girl for a competition she should be back now!

Nidalee: Oh my god Rammus has kiara!

Pantheon: *looks at letter* She should be back by now

Kiara: *Just entered* Hi mom hi dad!

Nidalee: *Ran over and gives her a hug* Don't go off without asking us ok my little one?

Kiara: *Rolls her eyes* Ok mom

Nidalee: *Much happier* Lets go inside and eat! Its lunch time after all

Pantheon: *Suddenly exited* FOOD! *rushes in* (This reminds me of me)

Kiara: *=_=* Are you serious dad?

(ANNDDDD I Leave it on that note leave a comment on what you liked and what you hated! Believe me I need my feedback! That's all for now but I shall do a few other champs next time!)


	4. Part 4

Fanmail part 4

(OHHH EMMMAAAA GEEEEEE I'm back with another installment of Fanmail! Hope you guys enjoy it!)

*Here goes… XERATH*

Xerath: *strikes magic against his magic-proof cell* I WILL BE FREE LET ME OUT OF HERE NOW!

Random guard: *Ignores like a boss*

Xerath: HOW DARE YOU IGNORE ME *strikes magic against cell again*

Random guard: You know what I'm shoving all the Fanmail you got into your cell right now! *Pulls lever*

Xerath: *Confused* What do you mean? *Suddenly notices trap door above his head open up* WHAT IS THIS OMINOUS FEELING?

Suddenly a rain of very heavy letters fall on Xerath literally blowing him off his feet even though he had rooted himself with Locus of power. A few second later he emerged from the letters like they were water and floated atop of them all, his face looks the same as always but the shadows formed around him as if he was in a very bad mood, this was further proved when xerath started spamming his skills getting rid of the letters but one of them. He picked up the force of nature covered letter and opened it glancing at the words inside he grew angry.

Rammus letter: MAN YOU LOOK LIKE THE IRON MAIDEN FROM SHAMAN KING MAN.

P.S I LOVE IT WHEN THEY STAND STILL

Xerath: *This close to exploding in rage* Throws letter at the cell wall close to the guard.

Random guard: *Notices* Whats this? *Looks at the letter* Rammus got a point you do look like that pre teen girl.

Xerath: *Whips his head around* WHAT? *EXPLOSIONS FTW!*

(While the Guard picks up Xerath's pieces lets look at Kayle)

Kayle: *Just returned to her apartment and decided to fly through the window, but see's the pile of mail next to the mail box.* What is this? *picks up a letter*

*Letter 1*

Letter 1: Your in a relationship with cait-

Kayle: *tears appear in her eyes as she sliced up the letter + half of the other letters at the same time* WHY MUST YOU BRING THAT UP… *Sob X 4*

*Letter 2*

Letter2: You're in a relationship with Leona at the moment right?

(This is very weird I never wrote about homo couples before…)

Kayle: *Smiles as her tears dried up* Yes its true, she is my very sunshine (WTF AM I WRITING?) *Her mood is lightened up as she doesn't notice the next letter was from Rammus*

Rammus letter: Next match I'm going to rip your wings off and feed them to the behemoths!

P.S Your sister's hotter

What you could describe as Kayles face was like a angered lioness, she gathered her energy and shot it at the letter, not even the Thornmail+Force of nature combo could save it. She then made a banner and hung it outside the wall on the banner it says death to Rammus with Kayles sword as a horizontal line.

(While Kayle is conspiring to kill Rammus, I have to say writing about homo couples will not be a normal occurrence when it comes to my stories sorry! Although I will write about Ezreal later! But seriously why do most people think he is gay? NOW ON TO MORGANA!)

Morgana: *Just baked a fresh batch of cookies* Yes these are baked to perfection! The customers will love this! *Notices the letters on her desk had been multipled by 10* What in the worlds?

*Letter 1*

Letter 1: Are you still going out with Mundo?

Morgana: I honestly don't know whether I should do answer this or not… (Is this right? I can't tell because Frisky's story confused me with so many things D: )

*Letter 2*

Letter 2: Do you have a thing for Vladamir?

Morgana: For that wuss? *scoffs* Hell no!

*Rammus letter*

Rammus's letter: CLEAVAGE!

Morgana: *Red in the face* WHAT?

P.S YOUR SISTER'S HOTTER!

Morgana's rage is obvious through her eyes turning red and activating her ultimate effectively stunning her entire customer population. She walks towards the institute of war and see's Kayles poster for death to Rammus, she summons a Moonflair Spellblade and crosses it diagonally opposite Kayles sword. This creates a cross over Rammus, she then proceeds to storm over to the institute of war.

(There goes Morgana, notice I said your sister's hotter for both Kayle and Morgana? OP I say :D . NEXT UP IS A PERSONAL FAVORITE SHYVANA!)

Shyvana: *Had grown depressed at the thought of hate mail coming her way* There is no need to open the letters, I am nothing but a half breed… I don't deserve praise from anyone. *She sulks on her bed wearing a black nightgown going down to below her knees. Her red hair falling in front of her face* Might as well make myself breakfast *she visibly sighed as slipped on her slippers as she walks outside to get to the kitchen*

Outside of Shyvana's house is the prospect of Jarvan discovering rammus and then choosing to chase after Rammus. Rammus had just left the mail at Shyvana's mail outside her house and was just about to leave when Jarvan (who wanted to visit Shyvana so she had her older brother figure talk to her) had discovered the armadillo. Jarvan had proceeded to use her Demacian standard + dragon strike combo to knock the said armadillo up into the air. Rammus stopped trying to run and just used powerball to knock Jarvan out. Because of Rammus's Opness Jarvan had been left on the floor at around 1 hp. Seems that 1 magic resist saved him from death, he was groaning in pain as time flew by. When he had finally managed to crawl to Shyvana's house it had already been 3-4 hours, by this time Shyvana had done her morning training, ate breakfast, washed the dishes, changed into her non warfare clothes *Which was a shorts sleeve button up shirt + vest + a skirt that reaches her knees* (I got the idea from AkB48 river dance outfit which is also where Shyvana's dance came from) and was currently fixing herself a sandwich when she heard a knock on the door biting on one edge of the sandwich she went to the door and was surprised by the amount of mail. She had completely ignored Jarvan until she nearly slammed the door in his face.

Shyvana: Jarvan! *Surprised and worried*

Jarvan: *weak as f*ck* Greetings Shyvana *coughs* May I please come inside?

Shyvana: *still shocked* Of course my Prince *Helps him into the house*

Jarvan: *Remembers something on his mind* When did you sleep with Wukong

Shyvana's sandwhich is dropped on the ground as the water she was drinking was spat out in random directions.

Shyvana: *Blushes* What? B-But I d-didn't!

Jarvan: *Eyes narrow* The stuttering proves all of it Shyvana.

Shyvana: *Eyes look down* Shut up *Begins pouting*

Jarvan: *Chuckle* On different matters why haven't you opened your fanmail Shyvana?

Shyvana: *tears unknowingly drips down her face* I-Its because nobody will ever grow to like me *sobs* its never going to be good mail when it comes to me

(Its gonna take a while for Jarvan to get Shyvana to open her mail so lets get to Shen)

Shen: Well this is definitely not a demonstration of superior judgment…

*Mountains of mail is outside his temple addressed to him*

Shen: My superior judgment will determine 4 of these letters *Picks up 3 normal ones + rammus one*

*Letter 1*

Letter one: Why is your taunt so effective?

Shen: that is knowledge for me and me alone

*Letter 2*

Letter two: Did you like that buff you got

Shen: Well it completely changes me from before when I was always ignore because I did nearly no damage.

*Letter 3*

Letter three: Do you think your changes are going to get nerfs in the future?

Shen: Yes I think they will (I hope they don't D: ) I'm pretty powerful at the moment.

*Rammus letter*

Rammus letter: How many nude pictures of Sona do you have to get that many male champions to get taunted? How many nude pictures of Pantheon do you have to get the females after you?

P.S Ninjas don't kill people. I DO

Shen: *Blushes and stutters* What is this?. *Lieing badly* I do not have those nude pictures.*as akali walks by Sona pics fall to the ground*

Akali: *Pissed as fuck* Shen?

Shen: *Gulps* Um its my taunting material?

Akali: I think I need to discuss your work with you… RIGHT NOW

(as Akali beats Shen into submission COUGHBDSMCOUGH Lets move on to Sona)

Sona: *Happily thinks of a composition and hears the doorbell* Tune saying ill get it

She opens the door for more fanmail

Sona: *Plays a pissed off tune in her mind saying are you serious*

*Having promised to open 3 of the letters she took that number*

Letter one: Your music is fabul-

Sona: *Tune saying been there done that*

Letter two: You are beutifu-

Sona: *you know how annoying the amount of people say that are?*

Rammus letter: You got some shit tunes there on that quqin skin!

P.S BOOOBIEEES

Sona: *Plays a tune of hurt as she plays crescendo randomly every time its off cd*

(While Sona plays like Adele's songs I think ill swap back to Shyvana!)

*Jarvan had gotten shyvana to open 2 of her mail he had hidden the rammus letter in fear that she would break down*

Shyvana: I wont get my hopes up my prince…

Jarvan: Just do it Shyvana its for your own good!

Shyvana: Fine *Opens first letter*

Letter 1: Your childhood is twisted you have my sympathy

Shyvana: Really? *tears of joy falling down her eyes*

Letter 2: What did you think of first when you saw jarvan for the first time?

Shyvana: *Blushes* to be honest I asked him if he was my papa… (He was wearing his dragon slayer outfit.)

Jarvan: see that wasn't so bad!

Shyvana: Yeah but I don't want to get my hopes up…

*After bidding goodbye to Shyvana Jarvan goes back to his palace and opens the Rammus letter to Shyvana*

Rammus letter: You have such ORIGINAL SKILLS (sarcasm if you didn't know)

P.S YOUR TITLE IS SO HALF ASSED

Jarvan: I swear the next time I see that damn armadillo is his last.

(That's it for this part of Fanmail! I hope you enjoyed it! I know im biased to Shyvana sorry about that!)


	5. part 5

Fanmail

Part 5

(I think no one reads my stuff right? Imma post anyways! :D … sigh im complaining again aren't I? Anyways lets do Ashe!)

Ashe: *Grumbles about Sejuani* Stupid sister, stupid hog riding hoe *various other insults*

*While in the heat of her anger she is reminded about Tryndamere*

Ashe: Stupid barbarian… *sadness* He bolted out of here in such a hurry as well… am I that much of a bitch?

*While she was pondering her thoughts a servant came in*

Servant: My queen Ashe there has been mail piling up at the courtyard, what should we do with it?

Ashe: *Eyebrow twitches in annoyance* Bring an handful of them in and throw the rest over the castle walls. They can freeze till they become nothing for all I care.

Servant: Yes your majesty *slowly walks out the door*

*Ashe visibly sighs as she waits for the servant to bring her the said letters while wallowing in a sea of sadness*

Servant: Ma'am your letters *hands Ashe 4 letters*

Ashe: Thank you… you may leave now

Servant: *Bows as he exits the room*

Ashe: I'll see what these silly fans have to say about me

*Letter 1*

Letter: How did the wedding with Tryndamere go? I heard it went like a snap

Ashe: *eyebrows twitch in annoyance* Yes it went with a snap! *grumbles* last time I get forget to get a cake earlier then the last day.

*Letter 2*

Letter: How long does Tryndamere last in bed?

Ashe: *unamused* 5 seconds… *blushes* until he starts critical striking me…

*Letter 3*

Letter: I think your little passive needs some work what about you?

Ashe: Yes quite I do hope that the summoners would let me change it =_=

*Rammus letter*

Letter: Tryndamere's armor reminds me of Sejuani's… perhaps a plot to overthrow you?

P.S DAT ASHE!

Ashe: *Speechless as she doesn't know how to respond* What?... Tryndamere's armor and Sejuani's… *looks inside the bedroom and a roughly crammed letter is seen in Tryndamere's bedside drawer* what is this? *Opens letter*

Sejuani letter to Tryndamere: Hi brother in law! You know what would look good besides your king skin? A classic skin similar to mine!

Ashe: *Barely suppresses rage* So this is why I thought he was a mere soldier that worked for Sejuani when I first saw him… *rage erupts as she shoots enchanted crystal arrows one after the other towards Tryndamere's apartment. She then decides to wait it out asking her local support to cast CV*

*While Ashe expresses her anger lets move on to Caitlyn*

Caitlyn: * Sighs because she is alone at home* I wonder what is there to life… I mean the thought of me going straight could be a possibility… or I could just go bi

*She notices the letters by the door, as she see's the letters crammed in her mailbox*

Caitlyn: … I don't care what fans think about me *then remembers stuff that she needed in there* well F*ck me!

(As Caitlyn debates on getting her stuff or not I'll move on to Gangplank!)

Gangplank: *Just returned to his house and drunk as f*ck* DO WHAT YOU WANT CUZ A PIRATE IS FREE. YOU ARE A PIRATE! YAR HAR FIDDLE DI DE BEING A PIRATE IS ALL RIGHT AND FREE! DO WHAT YOU WANT CUZ A PIRATE IS FREE! YOU ARE A PIRATE! *Swiftly dodges a double up from the window of Miss fortune* NICE TRY ME LASSIE!

As Gangplank stumbles across his house in the relatively lively conditions he notices a package at his door step

Gangplank: What's this? *Pick's up the pakage* Letters? I better be sober for this! *Uses remove scurvy* That's better now where was I?

*Letter one*

Letter: WHY ARE YOUR ORANGES SO OP?

Gangplank: To be honest I don't know how but I found this magical tree on a voyage once then I brung it back and had found some growing on me cutlass!

*Letter 2*

Letter 2: WHY DO U CRIT SO HARD! D:

Gangplank: Parley was always meant to be the killing blow, but I don't understand why Phreak said max it last…

*Letter 3*

Letter: In your honest opinion what do you think of Fizz?

Gangplank: in all honesty I have no clue, the first I saw of him was when he was in the middle of pranking the champions of Bilgewater. But that prank on Miss Fortune was a sight! *Perverted giggle*

*Rammus letter*

Letter: In my honest opinion I wouldn't let you captain a dingy! I SAW WHAT U DID ON ONE OF YOUR FIRST VOYAGES DAMN YOUR CREW SEEMED PISSED

P.S YOUR ORANGES WONT DO SHIT AFTER I LOCK YOU IN CC!

Gangplank: *Red eyes glow menacingly as he glared into the sky, getting the local support to cast CV on the route out of bilge water and readying canon barrage*

(While gp bides his time lets move on to Karthus!)

Karthus: *Had decided he needed some sleep and puts on a night cover for his eyes* WHAT IS THIS INFURIATING SUNLIGHT DOING IN THESE MARSHES?

Undead servant: Sir! Rammus has been spotted in the grounds of your undead palace my lord!

Karthus: *Takes off nightcap* WHAT? I WANT HIM DESTROYED IMMDIATELY!

*A flying head has gone through the window and lands on Karthus's lap*

Undead soldier: HE IS TOO STRONG HIS FORCE OF NATURE AND MAGIC RESIST ITEMS STOP US FROM STOPPING HIM *faints*

Undead servant: SIR!

Karthus: WHAT IS IT NOW?

Undead servant: *Trembles in fear as he looks around* Rammus has left behind a letter!

Karthus: Oh my god IS IT MORE OF MY FANMAIL? IM GONNA KILL THAT LITTLE SPIKE!

Undead servant: Sir it's a letter from rammus himself!

Karthus: *Mood is less grumpy* Then why the f*ck didn't u say so?

*Undead servant hands him the letter and quickly runs away*

Karthus: Well lets see what he wants to say…

*Rammus Letter*

Letter: SING ME A LULYBY!

P.S GET SOME BREATH MINT UR BREATH STINKS

Karthus has a poker face on while he asked for a local support to cast cv over the exit to the marshes.

(While Karthus and Gp and Ashe wait it out I say we go for LUX! :D )

Lux: *Just returned from a hard match on Summoners rift* Oh my god that was tiring… that yi and pantheon combo was hard to beat until pantheon left… *Visibly sighs as she walks toward her bedroom* It looked like I had mail today… I might as well take a look at it a bit before I go off to bed. *She grabs her small and neat pile of letters as the Rammus one seems to shine a little*

*Letter 1*

Letter: What are you a cheerleader?

Lux: I was one when I was in Highschool!

*Letter 2*

Letter: What had kept you with Shaco in the first place?

Lux: He was my first everything *dreamy smile*

*In the distance we can hear the gagging and coughing from several houses*

*Letter 3*

Letter: if you were a 5 year old would you call your ultimate Orbital friendship lazar canon? ( A friend of mine suggested this :D)

Lux: *Giggles* I have to admit I like the sound of that I might ask summoners if I could change it to that *smile*

*Rammus letter*

Letter: If you were a cheerleader were you ditzy? And dumb?

P.S Im gonna shoop da woop your ass

Lux: *starts glowing with magical power* Calling me dumb? Just because I was a cheerleader and a blonde doesn't mean I was dumb… I WAS THE SMARTEST IN THE COLLEGE *cast CV* Lets see how you would like a Finales Funkein in the face.

(I wonder if there were any other global ults I forgot… O WAIT, GO EZ)

Ezreal: Why do people think I'm gay… *Kicks a rock* Just cuz I didn't have a dance, the damn summoner's had to give me that weird ass dance.

*as he enters his building*

I wonder what's going on now… what do people think of me anyways? *Opens mailbox* Great more mail demanding I go gay. Lets see what it is.

*Letter 1*

Letter: Wait a minute weren't u with Brolaf?

Ezreal: *Red with anger* Why the F*ck would I be with that damn F*cking barbarian

*Letter 2*

Letter: Aren't you gay?

Ezreal: *Throws it out the window on unsuspecting urgot that gets KO'ed* OK seriously what the f*ck?

*Letter 3*

Letter: KAWAII! Your sooo cute!

Ezreal: WHAT DAFUQ? This better be a girl or else im gonna send a trueshot barrage outside to something

*Rammus letter*

Letter: Aren't you just precious?

P.S YOUR GAY

Ezreal: *Pissed as hell see's the Cv in the distance* Ok Rammus you wanna play that game? ILL GIVE YOU HELL *Charges trueshot barrage*

(Ok lets see O YEAH ZIGGS :D)

Ziggs: *Doing hexplosive stuff with his bombs* I could use a snack *walks down hallway to see his mailbox stuffed with rocks* What the f*ck? *Grabs the box and shakes it* Wow… ok who is the little f*cker who trashed my mailbox?

*3 letters fall in front of Ziggs*

Ziggs: Odd this is obviously some mail of great importance

*Letter 1*

Letter: Y MUST U MAKE SOUND WHEN U WALK NORMALLY I CANT GANK WITH YOUR CRAZY LAUGH

Ziggs: I really laugh that loud? Man I gotta lower down on the sugar bombs

*Letter 2*

Letter: Your cute and all but I think you're a bit forever alone aren't you?

Ziggs: *Sniffle* A little… I mean Teemo has poppy, Veigar has Tristana and Heimer even said he had corki! *Bawling*

*Rammus letter*

Letter: YOU JUST GOT LEFT ALONE ON VALENTINES DAY!

P.S WHAT YOU GONNA DO BLOW UP THE WORLD?

Ziggs: *Takes off goggles like this is a serious matter* This armadillo is dead

*Aims his mega inferno bomb*

(Now for something totally random)

Urgot: Man I got no one that likes me! I think im gonna go ahead and waste mana by ulting the next guy that come by

*Rammus rolls by*

Urgot: ULTING NOW! *swaps places*

At the exact moment that Rammus was suppressed the ultimate's of Lux, Ashe, Ezreal, Gangplank, Karthus and Ziggs fire at the same time resulting at the time when Urgot had swapped with Rammus he had taken on the full blast of all the ultimate's. Resulting in a molten pile of rotten flesh and burnt metal. That was an even sadder day for Urgot then most…

(That's it for Fanmail for now! I'll get through all the champions eventually!)


End file.
